Postpartum Depression
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care and The No-Cry Sleep Solution
QUESTION: I know that it’s normal to have the “baby
blues” right after you have a baby, but my son is six
weeks old. I thought everything would be wonderful by now
and I would be so in love with my baby. I thought mothering
would come easily. It’s not that way at all! I can’t
sleep, even when he’s sleeping. I feel hollow inside,
like the real me is gone. Sometimes I cry for hours; other
times, I feel angry enough to explode. Life feels like an
endless amusement park ride, and sometimes I just want to
get off. Why am I such a terrible mother?
Learn about it
You’re not a terrible mother! You are a mother who
is suffering from a condition known as postpartum depression,
a condition that is treatable. While as many as 80% of mothers
experience a temporary and mild condition referred to as
the baby blues, up to 15% of women have the more severe reaction
you’re experiencing. Having PPD doesn’t mean
that you have done something wrong, or that something is
wrong with you; it is an illness and it can be cured. Once
you learn more about what’s causing your despondent
emotions and take some steps toward treatment, you’ll
be on the road to finding yourself again and enjoying your
baby.
What is postpartum depression?
PPD is a medical condition ? a specific type of depression
that occurs within the first few months after childbirth.
It is caused by the biochemical and hormonal changes that
happen in the body after pregnancy and birth…nothing
that is within your control.
What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?
While PPD affects all women differently, a few typical symptoms
can help your physician make the diagnosis. You probably
are not experiencing everything on the following list,
and the degree of symptoms may range from mild to severe,
but if a number of these apply to you, you may be suffering
from PPD.
Symptoms of postpartum depression may include but are not
limited to:
? Feeling hopeless, worthless or inadequate
? Frequent crying or tearfulness
? Insomnia or sleepiness
? Lack of energy
? Loss of pleasure in activities you normally enjoy
? Difficulty doing typical daily chores
? Loss of appetite
? Feelings of sadness and despair
? Feelings of guilt, panic or confusion
? Feelings of anger or anxiety
? Extreme mood swings
? Memory loss
? Overconcern for baby
? Fear of “losing control”
? Lack of interest in sex
? Worrying that you may hurt your baby
? A desire to escape from your baby or your family
? Withdrawal from social circles and routines
? Thoughts about hurting yourself
If you suffer from extreme degrees of any of these symptoms,
particularly thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby,
or if you have additional physical symptoms such as hallucinations,
confusion or paranoia, then please call a doctor today. NOW.
Your condition requires immediate medical care. If you can’t
make the call, then please talk to your partner, your mother
or father, a sibling or close friend and ask them to help
you arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby.
If you can’t talk about it, rip this page out and hand
it to someone close to you. It’s that important. You
do not have to feel this way.
What can a doctor do about postpartum depression?
As with any form of depression, help is available and only
as far away as your healthcare provider ? contact your
ob/gyn or midwife to start with, if that’s most comfortable
for you. She can help you get the professional care you
need from someone who has experience dealing with this
condition. In the longer term, it’s important that
your therapy take place with a professional who has experience
in treating PPD; the malady is different from other forms
of depression, and it is very specifically related to your
role as a new mother.
PARENT TIP
“
In the time it takes you to read this chapter, you could
set up an appointment with a doctor. Remember, this is a
medical problem and it can be serious; for your sake, for
your baby, and for all those who love you, you must make
that call. With help, you will regain your life and your
perspective."
Vanessa, mother of Kimmy (12) Tyler (10) Rachel (5) and Zachary
(3)
A visit to a doctor for the symptoms you’re feeling
is nothing to fear. Your condition is something your doctor
has seen before ? so you need not feel at all self-conscious.
As for treatment, there are a variety of options, depending
on how severe your symptoms are. Your doctor will evaluate
your condition and may suggest medication, such as antidepressants.
(Make sure that you let him know if you are breastfeeding
so that the proper medication can be prescribed.) In addition,
he will tell you that therapy and support are critical for
recovery.
What can I do about PPD?
The first step you can take is to understand that you have
an illness that requires action on your part so you can
heal. Forgive me for repeating this, but it is important:
Take that first step and call a doctor. In addition, the
following things can help you begin to feel better right
away:
Talk to someone. Whom do you trust? Whom do you feel comfortable
talking to? This might be your spouse or partner, it might
be your mother, your sister or brother or a friend. It can
really help to share your feelings with someone who cares
about you. Even if you feel you can’t talk specifically
about PPD, just discuss your feelings and your new role as
a mother and its effects on you.
Read books about baby care and parenting. Knowledge is power.
Reading may help you feel more confident, which in turn will
help you feel more in control of your situation. It will
also give you the knowledge you’ll need to ward off
the unwanted advice or criticism that can come your way during
the early months of parenting, and that can be especially
hard to take when you are feeling depressed.
Join a support group. PPD support groups allow mothers who
are dealing with depression to talk with others who have
similar feelings. A list at the end of this section can help
you find a group in your area. You might also call your health
care provider, your local hospital, or your church for information.
While PPD support groups are an excellent choice, any group
for new mothers in which you can share your feelings about
motherhood can help you feel better about yourself. Choose
your support group with care, as you’ll want to be
around people who support your parenting decisions. Being
with a group who criticizes or questions your mothering choices
will make you feel worse, not better. Conversely, spending
your time with like-minded people will boost your self-confidence
and help you feel more confident as a mother. This idea shouldn’t
be seen s a cure, but rather one part of the process of recovery.
Accept help from others. If anyone offers to help you ?
whether it is to take your baby for a walk, cook a meal,
or drive your older kids to sports practice ? accept! Learn
to say yes. You don’t have to do everything to be a
good mother. It’s natural for human beings to lean
on each other, so go ahead and do a little more leaning.
Get some extra sleep. Put your efforts to get your baby
to sleep through the night on hold right now; this will come
in time. Forget about the clock. Just sleep ? both of you
? whenever you can. Extra sleep will help you feel better.
Relax your standards. This is not the time to worry about
a spotless house, gourmet meals, the corporate ladder, or
your manicure. Try to stick to the basics and concentrate
on yourself and your baby.
Get some fresh air. When possible, put your baby in the
sling or the stroller and take a walk. The exercise and open
spaces will help you feel more energized. Try to work a daily
stroll into your schedule. If you have older children, walk
them to school. If the weather isn’t suitable for outdoor
walking, then drive to a shopping mall for an indoor walk.
Feed yourself healthy foods. You can eat properly without
much effort. Focus on fresh fruits and vegetables, and simple
but nutritious meals. And eat frequently. Going long stretches
without food wreaks havoc on your system. Simple snacks like
an apple with peanut butter, a bagel, or yogurt with cottage
cheese are easy to prepare and prevent your blood sugar from
dipping and adding to your feelings of depression. Continue
to take vitamins, and drink plenty of water.
Love yourself. You are going to be okay. Take it one step
at a time…but do take steps (such as those outlined
in this section). With help and time, you’ll develop
a refreshing and healthy outlook on your new role as a mother.
For more information
Books
This Isn't What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression,
by Karen Kleiman and Valerie Davis Raskin (Bantam Books,
1994)
Beyond The Blues: Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, A
Treatment Manual by Shoshana Bennett and Pec Indman (Moodswings
Press, 2002)
The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby
Sleep Through the Night
By Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, 2002)
Web sites
Pacific Post Partum Support Society
www.postpartum.org
Depression After Delivery, Inc.
www.depressionafterdelivery.com
To locate a support group
Postpartum Support International
www.chss.iup.edu/postpartum
Postpartum Education for Parents
www.sbpep.org
La Leche League Support Groups
www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.html
This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care
by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
